5 things that my mother’s death has taught me
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Losing your mother isn’t something you can ever prepare for. She was a significant part of your life, and now you have adjust to her not being around. Sometimes it becomes hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel but with time, you will.
I have learned that grief isn’t something you can just get over, but I’ve also realized that grieving can make your life richer in unexpected ways. I want to share five things my mother’s death has taught me in hopes that it will help someone else going through losing their mother.
Be Kind to Yourself
When I lost my mother, I remember not taking care of myself or punishing myself for the way I was grieving. I became forgetful, and my mind was foggy. You have to remember that everyone grieves differently. You are grieving, and you can’t feel guilty for doing so. Be kind and take care of yourself; it’s one of the most important things you can do.
You’re the Source of Your Prosperity
While grieving, I learned everyone has their own coping mechanisms. But some of these mechanisms don’t always support self-care. The best thing you can do for yourself is to face grief directly, no matter how hard it may be. I chose to thrive through prioritizing self-care. Whether it is enjoying your favorite coffee drink or taking a long bath with your favorite bath bomb, prioritize yourself.
Do What Works for You
I found myself not to be super religious, but I still appreciated guidance from the campus chaplain at my college. I hadn’t danced since I was a kid, but I found stress relief and joy in taking a few dance classes. There is no specific method to get through grieving, so see what works for you and use it to get through those hard times.
No One Can Fill That Void in Your Life
The hole in my heart created when my mom left this earth, is a hole that no one else can fill. I used to wonder who would ever understand me, the way that my mother did? Or who will I call with problems that only mom can solve? I have amazing influences in my life who are there for me when I need them, but they will never replace my mom. Healing does not mean we have to substitute, but we must expand, despite the holes we carry.
Healing With Time
You’ll often hear that “time heals all wounds.” On the contrary, grieving doesn’t have a timeline. There will always be good and bad days, but once we make it through those bad days, we’ll find a greater appreciation for the little joys on the good days. By finding effective coping mechanisms, you’ll begin living in the present again. My mood does not have to be determined by the pain I endured in the past.
Losing a parent is just plain hard. I hope sharing my story in lessons I’ve learned helps someone else who is dealing with the pain of losing a parent.
What are the first steps when a loved one passes away? The first step is to notify the proper authorities. If your loved one passes at home, you’ll need to contact emergency services. If the passing occurs in a hospital or care facility, staff will guide you through the next steps. Once this has been done, you can contact a funeral home. Our team is available to help you begin arrangements and coordinate transportation of your loved one into our care. Do I need to plan the funeral right away? While some decisions need to be made relatively quickly, you do not have to finalize every detail immediately. We will help you prioritize what needs to be handled first and give you time to consider the more personal elements of the service. What types of funeral services are available? There are several options available depending on your preferences, beliefs, and budget. These may include: Traditional funeral services with a viewing and burial Memorial services (held after burial or cremation) Graveside services Celebration of life Cremation services with or without a formal ceremony We are here to help you create a meaningful service that reflects your loved one’s life. How much does a funeral cost? Funeral costs can vary widely depending on the services and options selected. Factors that may influence cost include: Burial or cremation choice Casket or urn selection Venue and staffing Transportation Printed materials and flowers We are committed to transparency and will walk you through all options to help you make decisions that align with your needs and budget. Can I personalize the service? Absolutely. Personalization is one of the most meaningful parts of a funeral service. Families often include: Favorite music or readings Photo displays or memory tables Video tributes Special themes or colors Cultural or religious traditions Our goal is to help you create a service that truly reflects your loved one’s personality and legacy. What should I bring to the arrangement meeting? It’s helpful to bring: A recent photo of your loved one Clothing for burial or cremation Personal information (full name, date of birth, Social Security number, etc.) Military discharge papers (if applicable) Preplanning documents (if arrangements were made in advance) Don’t worry if you don’t have everything—we can guide you through what’s needed. What is preplanning and is it necessary? Preplanning allows individuals to make their own funeral arrangements in advance. While it is not required, it can ease the burden on loved ones and ensure that personal wishes are honored. Many families find comfort in knowing these decisions have already been made. What happens after the service? After the service, we continue to support families by: Assisting with necessary paperwork Providing grief resources Helping coordinate burial or cremation follow-up Offering guidance on memorialization options Our care does not end after the service—we are here for you in the days and months that follow. We’re Here to Help Planning a funeral is never easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. Our compassionate team is here to answer your questions, guide you through each step, and help you create a meaningful tribute for your loved one. If you have additional questions or would like to begin planning, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
When you are considering cremation for your own future plans or those of a loved one, it is important to understand the safeguards that our funeral home has in place to maintain the integrity of the cremation process. A detailed and well-documented process means that families can be assured that the cremated remains returned to them are those of their loved one. At our funeral home, we have a high standard of professional ethics and detailed procedures regarding the cremation process. We have our own on-site crematory at our Southwest Louisville Chapel, so your loved one will never leave our care. Multiple steps are taken to maintain an individual’s personal identity throughout the process. An identification band is placed on them the moment they are brought into our care. A funeral director and members of the family will review all cremation paperwork prior to cremation. Families have the option to view their loved one before cremation takes place for a final goodbye. When the time comes for cremation, a numbered stainless steel identification tag will be placed with the deceased which stays with them through the cremation process. This information will be entered into our funeral home’s permanent record. Family members have the option to witness the beginning of cremation, or stay for the duration of the process, if desired. After cremation is complete, the stainless steel identification tag will stay with the cremated remains, which will be placed in the urn or container that the family has selected. When it is time to return the remains to the family, we will confirm that the person receiving the remains is authorized to do so, and photocopy their photo ID to further ensure the integrity of the process. With these safeguards in place, you can have confidence that if you choose our funeral home, your loved one will be cared for with dignity and respect, and their personal identity is maintained every step of the way. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out to us. We are here to help.
In recent years, the phrase “celebration of life” has become more common when families are planning services for a loved one. While many people have heard the term, there can still be confusion about what it truly means and how it differs from a traditional funeral. At its heart, a celebration of life is not about replacing tradition, but about offering a more flexible, personalized way to honor and remember a life. A celebration of life is a personalized service that focuses on honoring the unique story, personality, and legacy of the individual who has passed. While it can be held in a variety of locations, many families choose to gather in the comfort of a funeral home chapel, where they have both guidance and the ability to customize the experience. These services most often take place after cremation, which allows families more time to plan and create a meaningful tribute. However, every family’s preferences are different, and services can be arranged in whatever way feels most appropriate. No two celebrations of life are exactly the same, because no two lives are the same. One of the most meaningful aspects of a celebration of life is the ability to incorporate personal touches that reflect the life being honored, even within a chapel setting. Families may choose to include themed elements that represent a loved one’s passions, hobbies, or personality. This could be as simple as displaying favorite photos and memorabilia, or as unique as incorporating colors, music, or décor that reflect what they loved most in life. Memory tables, tribute videos, and customized music selections can all be seamlessly incorporated into a chapel service. Some families also invite guests to participate by sharing stories or bringing items that hold special meaning. This blend of personalization within a supportive, structured environment often provides both comfort and creativity during a difficult time. A celebration of life offers families the opportunity to gather in a familiar, supportive setting while creating a service that truly reflects their loved one. By combining the comfort of a chapel with the flexibility of personalization, it becomes a meaningful way to honor a life and share memories with those who matter most. There is no right or wrong way to plan a service. The most important thing is creating a space that feels genuine, supportive, and reflective of the person being remembered.
Many of us take our freedoms for granted, but our staff proudly acknowledges the sacrifices made by those who have served our country through their patriotism, love of country and willingness to protect others. We are committed to providing quality service and professional assistance to help families complete the necessary forms to obtain benefits that are provided through the United States Department of Veterans Affairs (VA). Here are some frequently-asked questions about benefits. What kinds of benefits are available? Granted to eligible Veterans in appreciation for the service they have provided for our country, benefits can include a burial allowance to help cover the burial, funeral and transportation costs associated with the deceased’s services and disposition. For those being buried in a national cemetery, survivors can receive assistance with the burial and funeral costs, the plot or internment, and the transporting of the veteran’s remains for burial. Additionally, Veterans may be eligible for a military funeral honors and committal service, and memorial items such as a cemetery headstone, marker, medallion, Presidential Memorial Certificate, plaque, or urn. Specific qualifications will need to be met to receive these benefits and memorial items. Who qualifies for burial benefits and burial in a national cemetery? Veterans, service members, spouses, and dependents may be eligible for burial in a VA national cemetery, as well as other benefits, if they meet one of the general requirements listed below. For complete requirements, please visit the VA burials and benefits page , and find a local VA national cemetery here . · A veteran who didn’t receive a dishonorable discharge · A service member who died while on active duty, active duty for training, or inactive duty for training · The spouse or minor child of a veteran, even if the veteran died first · In some cases, the unmarried adult dependent child of a veteran What are military funeral honors and a committal service? Military funeral honors include the playing of “Taps,” a rifle detail, a color guard and uniformed service members who properly fold and present the United States flag to the grieving family. These flags are typically given to the deceased’s next of kin or close friend. In order for the survivors to qualify to receive the burial flag, the veteran or reservist must be described by at least one of the following: · Served in wartime · Died while serving on active duty after May 27, 1941 · Served after January 31, 1955 · Served in peacetime and left military service before June 27, 1950, after serving at least one enlistment or because of a disability that was caused - or made worse - by their active military service · Served in the Selected Reserves, or served in the military forces of the Philippines while in service of the United States and died on or after April 25, 1951. As a Veteran, how do I apply for benefits? You can apply to find out in advance if you’re eligible for burial in a VA national cemetery. This is called a pre-need determination of eligibility—and it can help make the burial planning process easier for your family members in their time of need. Learn how to apply for a preneed determination of eligibility. As a surviving family member, how do I apply for benefits? As a surviving family member, you must file a claim for a non-service-connected burial allowance within two years after the veteran’s burial or cremation. There is no time limit to file for a service-connected burial, plot or interment allowance. You can apply online or by mail after completing the VA Form 21P-530. A veteran who didn’t receive a dishonorable discharge or a service member who died while on active duty may be eligible for a headstone or marker if they meet certain requirements. To find out if your deceased loved one qualifies for a cemetery marker and to apply, visit this site . For more information regarding VA burial benefits and memorial items, visit the VA's website or call the VA office at 1-800-827-1000.
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